It is normal for the human brain to want to know, to have closure, to have it explained. We need to know why, probably because in the evolution of mankind to understand is to be prepared for the future. Part of the DNA of survival. Of humans that is.
There’s something wrong with Auntie Dianne was on TV here last week. The story of an American mother who one morning with kids in the car drove up the wrong way on the highway killing herself, 4 children and the people in the other oncoming car.
Diane Schuler, a 36-year-old Long Island “supermom,” caused a collision while driving a minivan the wrong way on New York’s Taconic State Parkway. She killed herself and seven others, including her 2-year-old daughter; her three nieces (ages 5, 7 and 8); and three men in the sport-utility vehicle that she hit head-on. It’s one of those ghastly crashes people will talk about forever.
Especially because of Schuler’s autopsy results: Sometime after packing up and leaving her family’s annual Catskills camp-out on a Sunday morning for the 140-mile trip home, Schuler began bizarrely zigzagging off her usual route. For reasons unknown, she consumed enough vodka after leaving the camp (a 1.75-liter bottle of Absolut was found in the wreckage) to attain a blotto-level blood-alcohol test result of 0.19, according to investigators — more than twice the legal limit for motorists. Lab results revealed Schuler also smoked marijuana that day.
She was not an alcoholic, or was she? It was said that she was not a drug addict, she occasionally smoked a joint to relax in the evening, she was a responsible wife and mother, and she turned up for work on time every day as the main bread winner. What happened? What indeed happened for her to act completely out of her normal parameters of behaviour? Did she have a psychotic episode? Out of the blue? Did she have stroke? How can the alcohol and marijuana be explained? Or was she a closet alcoholic?
I have theory but it is only a theory
We will really never know.
M phoned the other day, one of their colleagues was found by his wife, -he had committed suicide. Or did he? A successful professional, no financial problems, a happy marriage with a wife who adored him, often went walking with the dogs was healthy and fit. The previous evening they had dinner with friends and it was a happy occasion. Afterwards the wife went to bed and he worked on his lecture to be given the following week in a foreign country.
No suicide note, no indications of depression. Nothing to explain this. How on earth must his wife and his parents come to terms with his death if they have no answers?
When my brother committed suicide at least I knew the reason – I had lived with this fear for a long time- but there were 1000 other questions – unfinished business. There is always unfinished business when somebody commits suicide. At one stage I thought I should maybe go to a séance or something and mentioned this to me sister in law. If you know me you would surely know this is the last thing I believe in. My sister in law said my brother was net into this kind of stuff either and furthermore he would probably be spiteful and not come. But then she gave me the name of their marriage guidance councillor – a Dutch Reformed minister – and said he should be able to provide me with some answers. And he did. God /religion / souls/ heaven/ hell / eternity/ we’ll meet again were never even mentioned. And I walked out of there with a ton lifted off my shoulders. I found some explanation and therefore I could eventually come to terms with the tragedy.
I know how important it is to know.