Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
We all know about Oscar Wilde, we all know some of his witty quotes , we know / have seen his plays. Who can forget The Picture of Dorian Gray, or The Importance of being Ernest… ?
You may even have seen the movie in which Steven Frey acted. Movies never give the true story!
But did you know his wife?
Here is a book that I can recommend.
The story of the woman at the center of the most famous scandal of the nineteenth century. In the spring of 1895 the life of Constance Wilde changed irrevocably. Up until the conviction of her husband, Oscar, for homosexual crimes, she had held a privileged position in society. Part of a gilded couple, she was a popular children’s author, a fashion icon, and a leading campaigner for women’s rights. A founding member of the magical society The Golden Dawn, her pioneering and questioning spirit encouraged her to sample some of the more controversial aspects of her time. Mrs. Oscar Wilde was a phenomenon in her own right. But that spring Constance’s entire life was eclipsed by scandal. Forced to flee to the Continent with her two sons, her glittering literary and political career ended abruptly. She lived in exile until her death. Franny Moyle now tells Constance’s story with a fresh eye. Drawing on numerous unpublished letters, she brings to life the story of a woman at the heart of fin-de-siecle London and the Aesthetic movement. In a compelling and moving tale of an unlikely couple caught up in a world unsure of its moral footing, Moyle unveils the story of a woman who was the victim of one of the greatest betrayals of all time.
yourothermotherhere
Jan 30, 2013 @ 07:44:52
Well THAT was an eye-opener! I never knew Wilde was married. Fascinating.
melouisef
Jan 30, 2013 @ 07:54:00
Yes and he was quite in love with her too when he courted her. She was a very pretty and talented woman in her own right. I find her story very sad.
melouisef
Jan 31, 2013 @ 09:40:29
No we never think of him being married with children because it was not the kind of life he lead.
ledrakenoir
Jan 30, 2013 @ 11:55:28
“Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much” – nothing more true, 2 things forgiveness and to ignore can really confuse enemies… 🙂
And Oscar Wilde had many enemies – both involuntary and the opposite namely self-inflicted – he didn’t consider Constance nicely – to put it mildly – maybe the marriage was a cover for him consciously or unconsciously…
melouisef
Jan 31, 2013 @ 09:39:11
Could be and as the fame grew so he became more aware of his attractions.
ledrakenoir
Jan 31, 2013 @ 10:06:34
I believe you’re right…
adinparadise
Jan 30, 2013 @ 12:22:41
I’d never even thought about him being married. A very sad story indeed. This sounds like an interesting read.
melouisef
Jan 31, 2013 @ 09:41:16
It is a very good book and very well written. I recommend it.
colonialist
Jan 30, 2013 @ 16:42:18
The whole tale is a sorry indictment not so much on the Wildes, but on the society as a whole and the usual miserable state of human attitudes and prejudices.
melouisef
Jan 31, 2013 @ 09:43:28
So true but then Oscar was very impulsive and irresponsible when it came to finances, so that she in the end paid a very dear price. She divorced for financial reasons and that is where the very unkind side of Oscar shows.
colonialist
Jan 31, 2013 @ 10:31:02
Like so many flambuoyant theatrical types, he was selfish-brattish.
melouisef
Jan 31, 2013 @ 12:25:15
Yes that is exactly what he was.But he will be happy to know most people remember him for what he wrote and never knew….
SidevieW
Jan 30, 2013 @ 17:25:33
one forgets just how dreadful life was for all concerned when one member of a family did not adhere to the rigid norms of the day.
the heartache is a marriage when one partner reveals an unexpected side to themselves like that was made so much worse by the sheer nastyness of ‘society’
melouisef
Jan 31, 2013 @ 09:45:20
And maybe even today?
There was no space in his life for a family.
LG
Jan 30, 2013 @ 19:43:37
Sounds interesting….:)
melouisef
Jan 31, 2013 @ 09:46:09
It is! I can send you the Kindle version?
LG
Feb 02, 2013 @ 05:39:27
You can thanks, busy reading “The LIves of John Lennon” and something about Leadership lessons from Mandela right now. Both interesting stuff
melouisef
Feb 02, 2013 @ 06:21:45
Sent it to your home email
🙂
Leo
Jan 31, 2013 @ 11:46:41
He has a monument in London but nowhere does it mention his Wife. All these years and I assumed he was single and Gay. He is attributed to many very controversial saying about England and the English which went with his flamboyant ways. But like most people in his circle, they are self obsessed. It has certainly opened up some more research for the average person.
melouisef
Jan 31, 2013 @ 12:27:36
She changed her name and those of their two sons to her maiden name Holland because she did not want them to suffer because of the indiscretions of their father.
His children never saw him after he left prison (he is to blame). Sad!
SidevieW
Jan 31, 2013 @ 13:24:30
It is a problem with quite a few of the creative people involved in theatre etc. family life takes a lot of tuime and attention, and they don’t have enough for both. Very sad for the family
melouisef
Feb 01, 2013 @ 05:53:11
I can understand that. But Oscar spent his time AND money on boy / men friends and lovers and she had to pay for it.
SidevieW
Feb 01, 2013 @ 07:10:45
some people are just plain nasty
carolynpageabc
Feb 02, 2013 @ 02:12:11
Well, well; the things that one does not know…
I wouldn’t have even imagined (before reading this) that Oscar Wilde would have even considered taking a wife….!
At least she now will be remembered for the intelligent, articulate woman she was..
melouisef
Feb 02, 2013 @ 06:21:06
Interesting that to start off with he was quite in love with her but then with immense fame and a second child on the way things started to change. Yes she deserve to be remembered for what she was in her own right.
WordsFallFromMyEyes
Mar 03, 2013 @ 05:12:09
INDEED the things one does not know, Carolyn. This post is fantastic – I mean enlightening, and fascinating to think about.